Every year in the town of Pamplona, Spain, a bullfight is held. This year it will be on July 5th. When Hemingway lived in Paris, he used to go down to Pamplona for the running of the bulls. It's an old tradition. Men (and some women these days) run with the bulls, as they're brought from the ranches to fight in the arena. The whole thing reminds me of the Republican Primaries this year.
The running of the bulls precedes the bullfight itself. The runners wear red bandanas to attract the bulls. It takes courage to run with the bulls, but the bandanas make it truly foolhardy. The voters are eager also to rub shoulders with the candidates, to find out their points of view. They ask tough questions at town-hall meetings.
The bulls get herded into a holding area, with gates that open up directly into the arena. The matador goes down to this holding area to view the bulls he is about to fight. He sizes them up and talks to the experts about the bulls, which one hooks to the right, which one hooks to the left. It's very important, just like in politics, to know about the right and left orientation.
On the day of the corrida (the bullfight in Spanish), the bull is allowed into the arena. He usually runs to the center, as if to announce his presence. He looks around and sees the boards that protect the matadors, the callejons, when the bull is just released into the ring.
The first ones in the arena are the picadores, the lancers on horseback, who stab the bull in the neck with their lances, to weaken the bull. It's not a fair fight.
Then come the banderilleros. They are on foot and their job is to place the banderillas into the neck muscles of the bull. The banderillas are the colorful sticks that further weaken the bull. This is the negative advertising that the candidates' super pacs hit the opposing candidates with. However, sometimes the matador decides to pin the banderillas to the bull himself, because it gives him the chance to work with the bull closely, to see which way the bull hooks and what other peculiarities the bull may have when push comes to shove.
The banderillas that have been placed in the bull's neck hurt every time the bull hooks with his horns. It's like the barbs the candidates throw at each other in debates and in commercials. Newt took many of these from Romney's camp and then decided to unleash his own barbs during the debates. He's been relentless against Romney, who senses that Newt is doing it out of spite.
Then once these sticks are placed, the matador goes behind the Barrera and pulls out the capote, the yellow and pink cloth which the bullfighters use to get the bulls to charge them. The bullfight begins. There are many types of passes that the matador uses to tire out the bull. Some are spectacular and resemble a style of dancing called flamenco -- which is really how flamenco began, except instead of the bull and the matador it's the male and female dancers who engage in a provocative form of dancing that is evocative of the Fiesta Brava, the wild feast of bullfighting.
What the audience enjoys are the big clean passes, where the matador edges ever so closer to the bull as he passes him by, horns lowered for an upward stab at the matador. The crowd yells, "Ole!" We use the expression every time we experience a spectacular charge in real life. The candidates make some lovely passes at each other. Ron Paul said in the last debate, in Florida, "We should send a few of these politicians to the moon!" The audience cracked up laughing. The idea of spending billions of dollars to send a man to the moon (we've already sent a man to the moon) was really outrageous, and Ol' Ron played the torero on that pass and sent Mitt and Newt scrambling for a reply, but they had none. It was a moment when it would be real appropriate for the audience to say, "Ole!"
All these debates are like the running of the bulls and the bullfights: the candidates are presented one at a time and Obama gets to see their weaknesses. He goes into the arena only after the main bull has been prepared for him. He has observed the bull while the picadores and the banderilleros have worked him over. Then Obama, the matador, will make a few spectacular passes and get ready for the kill.
But not so easy! These are some of the best bulls in the country. They have been reared in the best traditions of the sport. They know the angles and can put together some pretty good moves of their own. They could gore the matador and put him out of business with one hook of the horns. Obama will have to move that yellow and pink cape pretty deftly to avoid being on the receiving end of a cornado, a goring. He could end up biting the dust before it's all over. Careful now!
Who will be the candidate that the Republicans will release into the arena? Obama waits patiently.
Right from the start it was clear that the Republicans were going to be slaughtered. The running of the bulls went pretty badly. The bulls charged the spectators willy-nilly. Many were all over the place, goring some of the runners in the rear and others in the belly. Nobody was pleased by the lack of style they exhibited.
Mitt Romney had the most money and he looked the best. He looked impressive and never lost his cool. Newt Gingrich was big and experienced. He looked the most dignified; but after being treated unceremoniously by Romney, he started flailing his knowledge and began throwing disparaging remarks about Romney and everyone else. Rick Santorum and Rick Perry were the least experienced, so no one expected them to win a spot in the sun. Michele Bachman was thrown in the mix just to keep the bulls in control. Instead she went after the big ones and ended up being ignored and marginalized. A corrida is no place for women. The bullfight is an arena for bull killers. John Huntsman was too elegant for the bullfight. He slipped and fell while still on the road to the arena. Rick Perry couldn't take the vulgarity of the sport. Ron Paul looked like a straggler who had wandered into the street, where the hecklers would laugh him off the field; but he surprised everyone and has hung in there.
Now El Matador awaits the Republican National Convention, where the Republicans will have to announce who will be their lead candidate. Will it be Newt, who looks the most fierce and charges straight and heavy? Will it be Mitt, who has come a long way as a cagey bull that hooks both right and left. Will it be Santorum, who is the youngest and fastest on his feet? Or will it be Ol' Ron with all his tricks and wisecracks?
Obama is surrounded by his cuadrilla, his traveling companions and advisers. He is being prepared. No detail is left to chance. His bullfighting outfit is impeccable. He is ready for anything. His strategy is going to be different for each of the bulls.
Newt will be the easiest one to tire out. Obama will have to keep clear of his sharp horns. It's true, Newt has no speed, but he can maneuver pretty well. He can hook right or left and he has a keen eye to where the matador wants to lead him. He will not be an easy kill as Obama suspects. If the matador makes one mistake, Newt will gore him fatally. The matador is aware of that; he dances out of the way deftly. It will be devastating for the Republicans to see Obama beat Gingrich; the GOP will never recover its original luster.
Romney is the best looking candidate the Republicans have fielded in a long time. He is a formidable bull in the arena. He may not be able to wound the matador; but he will make him look real bad. The Republicans owe it to the Mormons to give them this chance in the arena. This moment will never come again in history; the Party will never again take a chance with a Mormon, so if it's a choice between Gingrich and Romney, it might be better to let Romney have his shot at the Presidency; neither one of them is going to get out alive.
Ron Paul is the oldest but perhaps the most appealing of the four candidates. His positions on the economy are the most popular with the hungry voters. His politics is right out of the Old West and totally out of sync with the times. The matador will sink his sword cleanly into the spine socket behind his head. Obama won't enjoy beating Congressman Paul. He needs him to weaken the field with his Libertarian philosophy. Ron Paul is going to hurt the GOP whether he runs as a third party candidate or not. It's best if he were to drop out.
Rick Santorum is the youngest and toughest of the bulls. He can take on Obama and defeat him. He's the only one who can do that, because Rick has the integrity and steadfastness of a true Republican Conservative. If the GOP doesn't see their way clear to nominating Rick Santorum, it will be out of a desire to lose the White House. The wealthy aren't hurting; it's Santorum who is hurting, and with him all the American people. The Democrats are most afraid of Santorum, because he is the only one who has defeated them on their own turf.
Rick will be the most dangerous bull in the arena. He is totally unpredictable. He does not need any help from anyone; but most importantly he can defeat Obama no matter how many lances the picadores sink in his back and no matter how many banderillas the banderilleros sink in his neck. He will shake them all lose and keep on charging. Even as Obama performs a perfect Veronica, the beautiful pass with the cape over the bull's head, Santorum will pivot and come back again. Santorum has proven himself to be the most formidable debater, not Gingrich.
When the matador passes him on the last pass with the Muleta, the red cape of the third act, and as he prepares to drop the sword into his spine, the noble bull from Pennsylvania will be ready for him. The sword will not find its mark; it will snap and tremble in the air and fall to the ground with a sickening clang. It is Obama who will be gored and lie on his face in the dirt.
Rick Santorum is the only candidate who can survive the grueling battle in the arena of politics and death in the afternoon and defeat Obama in November. I know, you want to shout "Ole!" again, but it's the people's turn this time. The people are the bulls who are slaughtered every day in the arena. Rick Santorum is a man of passion and integrity; he understands what Americans yearn for. He knows hard work, he knows tragedy, he knows how to display wisdom and act with compassion.
Jan. 29, 2012